You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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