But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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