she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Mom said you looked used
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
