Small penises have feelings too.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
