so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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