Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
