True but thats because hes a fetus.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
