STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
