he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
