she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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