Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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