Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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