We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
