Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize