he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
