i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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