So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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