This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
