they need to just BURY HIM!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
