So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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