next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
