This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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