: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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