Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
