Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
