dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize