I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
