apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
