I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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