her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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