Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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