my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
