when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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