Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
