Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I did not marry a roomba.
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