let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
