it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
