I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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