Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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