Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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