it was like eating out sand paper
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
