you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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