I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
