Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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