their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
