At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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