Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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