You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
