hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
