you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Swine flu is the new snow day.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
