My friends, they love my intelligence
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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