Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
