that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
