So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
