do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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