all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
