No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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