im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i think i have herpe
just one?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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