she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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