Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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