you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize