How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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